Ok so I am less than 2 weeks out of my race.. For the most part I am calm about it..Funny how I would look at 26.2 miles and go I cannot do that, I am too old and fat.. Well those thoughts are gone. I know I can do this and make it all come together. I want this so bad.. and running bug has bitten me again because a 50k does not seem that much more than what I am going to do. Well I will be slow but finish and plan for the next one. I will just stick to the F.I.D.O plan ( fuck it and drive on)
Ever since I retired from the military it seems like life is so different well it was even different when I left group and went to the Air guard. Life is not bad just very different . I really never thought that I would be where I am . Doing what I am for a living. I am a grunt turned into a computer geek. Ok so I am a geek with guns but still. I am kinda like what I do it pays the bills and I do work with some great people. But at the end of the day it is just work and I do it because I can. It is not really fulfilling. Just a job not like defending the nation. I still believe I am a sheepdog just waiting to use old skills.
I am lucky to be marry to a very wonderful woman . She is a very multi talented woman who do loves me very much.. For this I am very grateful. She is the light of my life. I love see her kick ass in her writing. She really do it right and I am very proud of her she really love it and never gives up. One day I know her books will be published and loved by many.
It is so funny when you are in the military sometimes you bitch about all the stupid shit that you have to do.. trust me there is a ton of it. But I was lucky to have made some of the best friends and have some amazing life experiences. I learned to push my self and that has effected me all my life. Even now I really do miss it. I kinda feel guilty ( ok so I do feel really guilty) that I am not fighting across the pond.. Some days I wake up and ask myself “what hell are you doing man .. you should be there. You still have one good war in you” It is hard really hard at times . ok so like I said very random thoughts
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